absent father project

Reliability and Value

Reliability and Value

Exciting announcement about what to expect in Season 2. And a call for your stories. Please reach out to me if you would like to be featured on the Absent Father Podcast, be interviewed by me and share your story related to Absent Fathers in service of bringing awareness and healing to the impacts of growing up with an absent father.

Also in this episode, we have a conversation about our extreme desire for reliability and where that comes from all spurred my car being stolen in February and lessons from that experience.

In addition to discussing reliability, I dive into the other thing I crave which is value. Value is essentially getting the most quality by parting with the least amount of money.

Check out this episode to learn how all of that relates to growing up with an Absent Father.

Learn more at absentfatherproject.com  | rodneymueller.com

Email me at me@rodneymueller.com

Theme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.

www.scottginsberg.com

Why Do Dad's Leave? Part 2

In part 2 of "Why Do Dad's Leave?" we discuss the generational nature of father absence. How our family history and the generation's who came before use greatly contribute and help explain why Dad's leave. 

My hope is that it helps all of us to see the bigger picture in our society that contributes to father absence and makes it less personal. If you had an absent father, there's an excellent chance that your father's father was also absent, emotionally or physically, and that his father was absent.

As we begin to understand the father absence and the generation nature of it, perhaps we can begin to interrupt the cycle of physical and emotional abandonment.

Learn more at absentfatherproject.com  | rodneymueller.com

Email me at me@rodneymueller.com

Theme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.

www.scottginsberg.com

 

 

Why Do Dad's Leave? Part 1

In this episode we tackle the big question: "Why Do Dad's Leave?" If you have a child, or a dog that you love, you might have thought about that one. How could someone abandon someone and something so great? 

In some ways, it may be a simple answer. That we avoid things in our lives that remind us of our shame or what we believe is not good enough about ourselves. The more shame and pain, the more we are absent.

This is true for the absent father, this is true for me. 

So my question is no longer, "Will I abandon the people I love someday?" instead, it's "How do I abandon the people I love?"

Learn more at absentfatherproject.com  | rodneymueller.com

Email me at me@rodneymueller.com

Theme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.

www.scottginsberg.com

 

 

God Stuff

Today's episode discusses the role that spirituality and religion plays in our lives. I begin a conversation about my own spiritual journey by sharing the story of my confirmation in the lutheran church (aka Catholic without the fun stuff like drinking and gambling,) and how it served to create the opposite of "confirmation" of faith for me.

I talk about the rest of my spiritual journey and how it relates to our relationship with our parents, specifically our fathers. Finally, we explore the parallels between our relationship to our parents and our relationship to God/Spirit/Universe, or as my longtime friend and mentor, Jodi Larson, might call it: "The Blueberry Muffin in the Sky."

Learn more at absentfatherproject.com  | rodneymueller.com

Email me at me@rodneymueller.com

Theme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.

www.scottginsberg.com

Never Enough

Do you find yourself in a constant pursuit of being good enough? Are you always busy, often tired and feel like you can never catch up?


This episode is for you, and us. 

In this episode, we breakdown the never ending chase for feeling good enough, where it started, how it relates to our father relationship and how to stop running this race.
We will look at creating a life where our worthiness, value and lovability are derived from the inside-out, rather than the outside-in.

Learn more at absentfatherproject.com  | rodneymueller.com

Email me at me@rodneymueller.com

Theme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.

www.scottginsberg.com

About Oprah and Abandonment

About Oprah and Abandonment

Today's episode is primarily about Abandonment. In 2013, I was a guest on Oprah's Life Class with Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant, when Iyanla asked a question that forever changed my perspective on abandonment.
We talk about the types of abandonment, what it looks like when we do it to the people we love and how to become more present, starting with our self first.

Learn more at absentfatherproject.com  | rodneymueller.com

Email me at me@rodneymueller.com

Theme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.

www.scottginsberg.com

 

Depression

Depression

Today's episode discusses depression. It's a serious word, but what does it really mean and how does it relate to the absent father wound.
I also share my experience of going through a deep depression, how I dealt with it and what I learned from it.
Ultimately, depression can be access to our biggest leaps of growth and development.

 

Our Super Powers: Intuition, Empathy and Safety

Our Super Powers: Intuition, Empathy and Safety

In this first installment of taking a look at the superpowers that you create along the way as a result of growing up as absent or distant father, we dive into the superpowers of intuition, empathy and safety.
You might call it intuition or a deeper intelligence where you're able to connect the dots between people's current experience and other experiences. It's an ability to see behind the scenes. 
We also look at empathy. From our heartbreak we have a special ability to understand the depth of another person's experience, to really get and connect with other's experience. 
Finally, we look at the safe space that we create. For some reason, people seem to open up to us. 
Look for future episodes to dive into more of our super powers. 

Joy and Celebration

In this episode, we discuss joy and celebration. We talk about how those of us who grew up with absent or distant father have a very reasonable relationship to joy and celebration.

The idea is that when we "make it" or when we actually do something good enough, then we will have time to enjoy it and it will be worth celebrating. The problem for us is that whatever we do is never good enough and being that whatever we do is never good enough, there is also not much reason to celebrate.

The problem is that joy and celebration are crucial to creating sustainable success and a life without joy and celebration just plain sucks.

Forgiving Your Absent Father

This is a wide ranging conversation about forgiveness, pain and healing. We talk about the number one access point to forgiving our fathers and others who we feel have caused us great pain. 

We wade into deeper issues in the world today including the #metoo movement, opioid crisis, mass shootings and how it's an opportunity to start a real conversation about pain, dysfunction and true forgiveness, with empathy as the key access point.

We also discuss what it looks when we don't forgive, when we operate on top of our pain versus lovingly addressing it.